Relationships ... What a complexity!!!

The relationship with ourselves – the relationship with another and others – the relationship and the influence of our unconscious mind, our conscious and unconscious past, our needs in the present and our hopes and desires for the future. No wonder that from time to time there are relationship breakdowns, and certain times of the year – like Christmas, seem to intensify all that is unresolved in ourselves and with others. So, what do we do?

From my perspective the first place to start is with ourselves. After all, we cannot really change another. Any attempt involves a power struggle of right and wrong; hurt, anger and blame. We can begin to change ourselves.

What we can do is …

• Acknowledge that we play a role
• Reflect on the situation:
  • How might we have played it differently?
  • What in us stopped us from acting differently?
  • What in us blocked the communication?
  • What were we really feeling underneath?
  • What outcome did we desire?

All this is contemplation at the conscious level.

For more than 30 years now, I have been working with clients and helping them to access their unconscious mind, which has always shown itself to be more powerful than the conscious mind.   

Working deeply with oneself requires courage and commitment. In working in the depths our being we can encounter some murky places. The Breathwork that I use is the deepest and most effect method that I have ever experienced. It ‘provides a meaningful, non-verbal path to self-knowledge, inner wisdom and health’ affirms the Australian Breathwork Association. It is that self-knowledge and wisdom that is needed to create a good relationship with ourselves, which in turn is the pre-requisite for creating a good relationship with another.

If we find ourselves repeating the same old destructive behaviours – either in relationship to ourselves or to others, it is because there is an unconscious patterning that is governing that behaviour. Until we know what that is and change it, we will always be struggling.

In the early 199O‘s I made guided meditations for my clients to help them access these deeper parts of their mind. The first is You and Yourself and the second is You and Others.
They are available on my website  and more recently on the meditation resource insighttimer.com

You can read the comments there for yourself. Feedback from the You and Others includes: “Wow that was so beautifully done! I got so much out of it. Love love love ❤ Thank you!” And for You and Yourself “Many thanks for the lovely and thought provoking meditation. Very helpful”

I work both with individuals and couples in a way that is predominately non verbal - allowing time and space for insights that comes from deeper within us. I use a variety of techniques  - presence, awareness of the breath, awareness of yourself and your mind. So if you would like to explore your relationships please contact me here

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