The relationship with ourselves – the relationship with another and others – the relationship and the influence of our unconscious mind, our conscious and unconscious past, our needs in the present and our hopes and desires for the future. No wonder that from time to time there are relationship breakdowns, and certain times of the year – like Christmas, seem to intensify all that is unresolved in ourselves and with others. So, what do we do?
From my perspective the first place to start is with ourselves. After all, we cannot really change another. Any attempt involves a power struggle of right and wrong; hurt, anger and blame. We can begin to change ourselves.
What we can do is …
For more than 30 years now, I have been working with clients and helping them to access their unconscious mind, which has always shown itself to be more powerful than the conscious mind.
Working deeply with oneself requires courage and commitment. In working in the depths our being we can encounter some murky places. The Breathwork that I use is the deepest and most effect method that I have ever experienced. It ‘provides a meaningful, non-verbal path to self-knowledge, inner wisdom and health’ affirms the Australian Breathwork Association. It is that self-knowledge and wisdom that is needed to create a good relationship with ourselves, which in turn is the pre-requisite for creating a good relationship with another.
If we find ourselves repeating the same old destructive behaviours – either in relationship to ourselves or to others, it is because there is an unconscious patterning that is governing that behaviour. Until we know what that is and change it, we will always be struggling.
In the early 199O‘s I made guided meditations for my clients to help them access these deeper parts of their mind. The first is You and Yourself and the second is You and Others.
They are available on my website and more recently on the meditation resource insighttimer.com
You can read the comments there for yourself. Feedback from the You and Others includes: “Wow that was so beautifully done! I got so much out of it. Love love love ❤ Thank you!” And for You and Yourself “Many thanks for the lovely and thought provoking meditation. Very helpful”
I work both with individuals and couples in a way that is predominately non verbal - allowing time and space for insights that comes from deeper within us. I use a variety of techniques - presence, awareness of the breath, awareness of yourself and your mind. So if you would like to explore your relationships please contact me here
Both laughter and tears can make us feel better, and, in a Breathwork session, they come naturally.
Research has proven that there’s a lot more going on when our body expresses strong emotion than we realise. Anything from the slightest smile to a thigh-slapping belly laugh causes a positive response in your body.
Dr Peter Spitzer, medical director of the Humour Foundation and Clown Doctors in Australia, says. “Laughter is a bit like cardiovascular exercise - your blood pressure goes up and then comes down again, your lungs expand, you have more oxygen in your blood and your muscles get a workout,” he says. “It also stimulates the reward centre in your brain and triggers the release of feel-good and immune boosting chemicals.”
Norwegian scientists recently found that having a sense of humour can keep you healthy at least until retirement age. The study involved over 53,000 volunteers and looked at only friendly humour (as opposed to cruel or insulting humour). Those with the highest humour ratings were twice as likely to be still alive at the seven year follow up as those who were comparatively humourless but the health benefits were only significant up to the age of 75.
American researchers recently showed that mirthful laughter reduces stress hormone levels and increases immunity by boosting T-cells and natural killer cells that fight cancer. As for heart health- some experts say that just 20 seconds of good, hearty belly laughing is equivalent to three minutes on a rowing machine.
Psychotherapist and founder of Sigma Mindset, Julie Spain,. “All strong emotion causes a physiological ‘fight or flight’ response, leading to tensed muscles, a faster heart rate, higher blood pressure and shallower breathing,” she explains. A good cry every now and again can have a soothing effect because it reduces stress and releases endorphins, the brain’s feel-good chemicals to relieve pain and make you feel better.
So how can we use awareness and acceptance of our emotions to increase our wellbeing?
We have heard of laughter yoga when we consciously begin laughing until the laughing spontaneous takes over our entire body. Well there is movie yoga too. If you know you are sad, but cannot cry – make a list of the saddest movies you know or have heard of, then give yourself a day to watch them. At least two. Have a box of tissues handy and allow yourself to cry in the parts that move you. Similarly, if you want to life your spirits make a list of ‘feel good’ movies or light hearted comedies. Sit down and give yourself permission to watch two or more. This is, in fact an emotional education, since you are consciously allowing yourself to experience emotions in your body.
The magic of tears
Research has shown that tears produced as a result of emotion are chemically different from those produced by peeling onions. While the onion tears are mostly salty water, emotional tears contain stress-related hormone proteins, leading some experts to believe that crying may be a natural form of detox.
If you need more help unlocking your emotions and unblocking your energy - then a Breathwork session could very well help. Contact Ann to discuss the possibility.
Stress, immunity and laughter. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100426113058.htm
Tears and sex drive http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110106144741.htm
Laugh your way to retirement http://www.alphagalileo.org/ViewItem.aspx?ItemId=77651&CultureCode=en
Cardiovascular laughing vs rowing machine www.asahq.org/Knowledge-Base/Bull-Pen/Humor-in-your-Practice-and-Personal-Life.aspx
Adapted from original article by Larraine Sathicq. Many thanks
"Last week's session made a huge difference. Thank you."
I was delighted that the 1 hour Skype consultation with my client had been so beneficial. Yet I know when some-one is willing and able to connect deeply with themselves, then I am able to facilitate that connection when they have momentarily become stuck.
The goal of a 1 hour Skype session is:
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This was the desire, in fact the need, of a client of mine - and probably many of us - to find a still point in the midst of the myriad activities of daily life. The way is simple - but success takes true commitment, time and practice.
The most important point of departure is to truly have the intention to find that still point.
Sometimes people say that they want more time, less stress and greater calm. But that is not really the truth. They may know they need to slow down and take time to balance the various aspects of their life, but they are addicted to the adrenaline of stress or the self importance that busy-ness can create.
Do you really want to find a still point in your busy life?
Do you really want to live from a place of calm and make that the foundation of your life? and be able to handle
Know that it is possible to find it within a minute. However, if you are a beginning meditator it may take longer, or you may have to practice more often until you can in fact find that calm almost instantly.
How to find calm - a 1 minute technique
The set up
Of course, if you have on going depression, anxiety and/or panic attacks I recommend Breathwork in a consistent - on going way, until the source of that malaise is resolved. If you would like to talk about those possibilities please contact me.